Going Home
by Flock
Summary: I could see my paws twitching, but I felt nothing but sheer agony. It felt as if I’d been lit on fire, and my whole body was burning up from the inside out...


**A/N: This is just a one-shot on Honeyfern's death. I thought it could've turned out to be a very sad scene if it were written right, not that it wasn't sad already, but I just the Erins messed it up pretty royally - everything was too rushed, and they even admitted it only happened so Leafpool would have a reason to bring deathberries into the camp. I don't think that was very fair to Honeyfern, so I've written it from her point of view using the same dialogue from Sunrise, but going into it a bit more. Please enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, obviously. All dialogue is from pg. 210-14 of _Sunrise_, except for the last line.**

It all happened so fast – too fast. A lifetime's worth of good memories, bad memories, relationships, experience – torn away in a couple of heartbeats. Just a couple of seconds was all it took for the venom to take it all away.

Berrynose and I were so happy together – I'll admit, I'd loved him for so long, and it was starting to get silly when he told he didn't feel the same. But I couldn't help. Then, all of a sudden, he'd taken me into the forest and told me something along the lines of frankly, I'd grown on him. We kept it a secret from the Clan, for no reason other than to experience the thrill of a 'forbidden' affair. Of course, it wasn't forbidden. No, it was innocent love, but true love all the same.

I'd like to be able to say Berrynose's love saved me that day, but even our bond, strong as it was, was broken. My life was lost so that another's was not.

I do not regret it.

It was sunny out. Berrynose and I had just begun to realize it was ridiculous for us to keep everyone else in the dark like we were, so we were being more…open, more public with our relationship. We were on the basking rocks, at the very edge of the hollow, savoring every last ray of light; every moment we had together.

Our eyes met, and I felt a rush of contentment. "We'll have kits like that one day," Berrynose breathed, his gaze wandering to Graystripe and Millie's kits, romping around the camp without a care in the world. My chest swelled with pride. Yes, we would. Berrynose and I would have wonderful, beautiful kittens.

"I'd like that." And why wouldn't I? Despite what most of the Clan thought, Berrynose was a sweet tom, loving and gentle; when you got to know him. Every cat has their own flaws, and I'm not trying to say Berrynose was without his, but in his own way…he was perfect. _We _were perfect. Still, my face grew hot at his remark, and I could hear the shyness in my own voice.

"You'll make a wonderful mother," he added, leaning in and licking my shoulder affectionately. It was a moment too good to be true. But as I learned, unfortunately much too late, when something seems that way, it usually is.

The next few moments passed in what felt like slow motion, each heartbeat dragging along at its own snail-like pace, longer and more intense than the one preceding it. My fur tingled with growing dread, the feeling that can only mean something terrible is about to happen. I tried to shake it away, but it would not go. Berrynose must've felt it too – his eyes grew round and confused, like huge, brown pools of curiosity and wonderment.

My neck fur bristled fiercely as a kit's voice, Blossomkit, reached my ears from just a few tail-lengths from the rocks. "Watch me! Watch me!" Her tiny hackles raised and her developing muscles stiffened as she bent down in a sort of crouch, or squat; the sign of a cat eager to pounce. "I can leap higher than any cat!"

It was a challenge, and her brother immediately recognized it. "No, you can't, I can," he replied, knocking Blossomkit aside. Blossomkit yelped and tumbled into her sister. Briarkit seized the opportunity and rolled, tossing up dust as she did so. The wall of the hollow forced Briarkit to jolt to a stop, and she sprang to her paws, smiling broadly, as all kits do often.

"I bet you can't do _this_!" Briarkit's expression morphed into one of total concentration as she threw her forelegs into the air, balancing on only her two back paws. Her littermates were focused only on their sister, offering squeaks and gasps of amazement. Some cat laughed, as if to say _How cute_, and it would've certainly been a 'how cute' moment if not for what occurred next.

There was a crack in the hollow wall, right behind Briarkit; only a mouse-length tall and half as wide. It was not something particularly noticeable. In fact, I'd never seen it there before. I wouldn't have seen it, either, if I didn't notice movement out of the corner of my eye – a quick flicker of something thin and dark. Something much bulkier and much more solid followed, gliding out of this hole like it was floating, and it seemed to be never-ending. At first I was unable to register what was happening, but before I'd started to comprehend, I found myself leaping up, darting forward, skidding to a stop – I'd put myself in between Briarkit and the huge snake, put myself at the mercy of death.

I tried to lash out, but the snake was much too quick. Before I could even lift a paw, the snake hissed and lunged forward, shining white fangs outstretched and poised to kill. I recoiled, but too late. Pain blossomed in my shoulder as the serpent met its mark, teeth lodged in my flesh. The world grew black for a heartbeat, and I could hear my own voice, hoarse with agony: "Help!"

My vision returned just as quickly as it had left me. "Help! Come quick! Honeyfern's been bitten by a snake!" Someone was calling for help, I realized – it was Lionblaze. Millie was looming over Blossomkit and Bumblekit, checking them anxiously for any injuries. _But where was Briarkit? _That was the only thought crossing my mind. The kit I'd surely just sacrificed my own life for, where was she? Had it all been for naught? Were two cats going to die before their time that day?

No. As I collapsed, I caught a glimpse of Millie dragging Briarkit, all in one piece and very much alive, far away from the basking rocks, curling her tail around the tiny she-cat. My whole body was racked with spasms of pain, and I convulsed against my will. I blacked out again, and when I could see again, just a few moments later (thought it felt like an eternity), Berrynose was bent over me, his face twisted with heartbreak.

I wanted to speak, just to say something to my love, but I was too busy trying to force air into my lungs, which seemed to be shriveling up by the second; and my breath became increasingly rapid and shallow. I could see my paws twitching, but I felt nothing but sheer agony. It felt as if I'd been lit on fire, and my whole body was burning up from the inside out.

"I can't lose another kit! Not after Molekit! Please, StarClan!" Faintly, I recognized my mother's voice. Sorreltail…no, no; I couldn't leave Sorreltail or Brackenfur, or Poppyfrost, either. I couldn't leave ThunderClan; they needed every warrior they could get. But most of all, I couldn't leave Berrynose. Not just for his sake, but for mine – if I couldn't be with him…

The thought horrified me, and I let loose a shriek of protest. Leafpool burst into the scene, fur bristling in terror. "Stand back and give me some room," she ordered; but I could barely hear her. I moaned; a pitiful, weak sound.

A snarl escaped Berrynose's lips, and his eyes blazed with loyalty. "I'm not leaving!" But he was shoved aside as Leafpool crouched down beside me, and he growled softly.

"Try not to move." Leafpool laid a gentle paw on the snakebite, and I screamed, my vision turning red with the pain.

"Help me! My blood is on fire!" I wondered for a second who the poor creature was, that was begging so desperately for help, and with a pang of horror I realized that it was me. I hadn't even realized the words were leaving my lips – the pain was much too great. "It hurts so much!"

My thoughts wandered to just a little while ago, on the rocks with Berrynose. We were together, and everything was fine. But another jolt of agony ripped the fond memory away from me, and all I could see were flourishing spots of red and black, blotting out all the cats I'd known and loved. Berrynose was the last to leave my sight, but I could still hear his voice even after his face disappeared. "Do something – one of you, do something!"

But by then I knew there was nothing to be done. The pain which had been too much to bear just a few moments before had already begun to fade, and I could feel the soft, black waves of imminent death lapping at my paws, trying to suck me in. Every time the tide receded I could feel that I was further gone.

Familiar voices bounced around in my throbbing head, but I couldn't make sense of the words. The harder I tried, the more impossible it became. Slowly my senses faded away – one by one, they'd sharpen for half a heartbeat, so much so I felt like I was going to explode, and then they'd just dwindle until they were gone.

My hearing stayed keen long enough for me to hear Berrynose's voice one last time. It was quiet and loving, but there was an edge to it, an underlying sorrow that I couldn't understand. Nothing made sense anymore, except for the words that left Berrynose's mouth in that precious, precious instant. "We would have had wonderful kits together…just as strong and beautiful as you. And one day I'll see you in StarClan."

_StarClan._

I was dying.

The venom had overcome me. As my heart stopped beating, as my eyes glazed over, and as my twitching, writhing body finally fell limp, my spirit felt stronger than ever. As my old body exhaled one last time, I escaped, feeling almost as if I were floating, gliding out of the dead she-cat who I no longer was – no, who I'd never really been. The black faded into white and the white sharpened into colors and then shapes, light and dark; and I could see again, feel again; hear again. I knew if I looked down I would see myself, so I did not. I had no desire for my last memory of my own body to be of it lying helpless and dead on the ground, killed while trying to save another.

I almost looked for Berrynose, for my mother and father and sister, too; but I didn't want to remember them as sad and grieving, either. So I took one last look at the only home I'd ever known, and turned to a tiny brown tom-kit with the light of millions of stars in his almost translucent fur and an ancient, out-of-place wisdom shining in his eyes, and smiled.

"Come, Molekit," I breathed, my voice sounding like the whispers on an early morning breeze, "Let's go home."


End file.
